Selfish
by sparkle4824
Summary: Jess's and Rory's thoughts after the season finale... chapter 2 now up!
1. Default Chapter

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Disclaimer: I don't own any characters on 'Gilmore Girls', or the song 'selfish'

A/N: please r/r!!!!

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Jess's POV

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I just don't understand

Why you're running from a good man, baby

Why you wanna turn your back on love,

Why you've already given up.

Cuz you know you've hurt before

But I swear I'll give you so much more.

I swear I'll never let you down,

Cuz I swear it's you that I adore.

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How the hell can she have this kind of control over me? Just one look my way and I feel like she knows everything about me. That can't be… if she knew she wouldn't care anymore. Does she even care? Was the kiss she gave me just a welcome back kiss that meant nothing to her?

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And I can't help myself, babe

Cuz I think about you constantly

And my heart gets no rest over you.

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Does she sleep peacefully at night? I hope at least one of does, cuz I sure as hell don't. I keep replaying the kiss in my mind. I know that she made the first move. Sometimes I think she did it just to see my reaction. But that's not like Rory. 

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You can call me selfish, but all I want is your love,

You can call me hopeless, cuz I'm hopelessly in love.

You can call me unperfect, but who's perfect?

Tell me what do I gotta do,

To prove that I'm the only one for you?

So what's wrong with being selfish?

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I've been waiting forever for her to be ready for me. Rory's the only one in this stupid town that cared enough to defend me, even when she was the one hurt. She's the only one that sees through my sarcastic, 'I don't give a damn' exterior. She sees into me…the only person that even tried.

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I'll be taken up your time,

Till the day I make you realize,

That for you there could be no one else,

I've just gotta have you for myself.

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I know I've changed her. She got on a bus and cut school to say good-bye to me. Why do I think it was more than that? It may be just wishful thinking, but maybe not. I did so many things for her, not that she even noticed. But that's a thing I love about Rory; she's so innocent and naïve.

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Baby I would take good care of you, 

No matter what it is you're going through

I'll be there for you when you're in need.

Baby believe in me.

Cuz if love is a crime, then punish me,

Cuz I would die for you 

Cuz I don't want to live with out you,

What can I do?

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I think she knows the real reason I came back to Stars Hollow. I just missed her… it took me a while to admit that to myself. She's gone now… in Washington D.C. If I had known she wouldn't be here all summer I think I still would've come back. It's not just Rory I missed… I missed Luke and all the silly arguments we got in. I know I must be crazy.

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You can call me selfish, but all I want is your love.

You can call me hopeless, cuz I'm hopelessly in love.

You can call me unperfect, but who's perfect?

Tell me what do I gotta do, 

To prove that I'm the only one for you?

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I never meant to fall in love with the town sweetheart. I tried not to. I acted out, doing stupid things that I know this little town would think were intolerable. But now that I think about it, I did all those things to attract attention to myself. I did them to get attention from Rory.

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Why do you keep us apart?

Why won't you give up your heart?

You know that we're meant to be together.

And why do you push me away?

All that I want is to give you love

Forever and ever and ever. 

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That kiss meant more to me than any other will, probably for the rest of my life. I finally did it… she likes me. But why did she run away? 

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You can call me selfish, but all I want is your love.

You can call me hopeless, cuz I'm hopelessly in love.

You can call me unperfect, but who's perfect?

Tell me what do I gotta do, 

To prove that I'm the only one for you?

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I don't know what I'm going to do… she comes home tomorrow. Six whole weeks have passed and I didn't hear from her. What if she regrets kissing me so much that she won't ever want to see me again? No, that's stupid… Rory Gilmore can't live without coffee. She'll come here… probably right when she gets home.

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Selfishly I'm in love with you,

Cuz I've searched my soul and I know that it's you.

I'll prove that I'm the only one for you.

So what's wrong with being selfish?

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What the hell did this girl do to me?


	2. do what you have to do

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A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out! I had to find the right song…J Please tell me what you think!

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Disclaimer: I don't own GG or any of the characters on the show. The song "Do What You Have To Do" is by Sarah McLachlan

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What ravages of spirit conjured, this temptuous rage

Created you a monster, broken by the rules of love

And fate has led you through it, you do what you have to do…

And fate has led you through it, you do what you have to do.

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Rory Gilmore sat on the bus on her way back from the Youth Leadership camp in Washington. For 6 weeks she had done nothing but think of the one and only Jess Mariano. She had been so caught up in the fact that he had moved back to Stars Hollow, she thought she lost her mind. 

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And I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go.

Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul,

I'm ever swiftly moving, trying to escape this desire,

The yearning to be near you,

I do what I have to do, but I have the sense to recognize,

That I don't know how to let you go, I don't know how to let you go.

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No, Rory didn't regret kissing Jess. It was more like she was surprised at her own boldness. It was totally out of character for her to act capriciously. Rory knew for a fact now that she didn't love Dean anymore… not the way he thought she loved him. Now she had to break her first love's heart. Somehow, she wasn't as depressed as she thought she should be. 

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A glowing ember, burning hot, burning slow, deep within,

I'm shaken by the violence of existing for only you.

I know I can't be with you, I do what I have to do

And I have the sense to recognize, but I don't know how to let you go,

I don't know how to let you go, I don't know how to let you go.

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Everyone says I shouldn't be with Jess. How can so many people tell me what to do when not one of them took the initiative to get to know him? I fell in love with the only guy in Stars Hollow that I was supposed to stay away from. This story has been told too many times. Good girl meets bad boy and falls head over heels in love. Never thought it would happen to me. I was supposed to be too smart to do that… 

I think Jess loves me too. I'm almost positive he moved back to be with me. What if I'm wrong? I never gave him a chance to say what he was going to say… what if the kiss meant nothing to him? It had to mean _something_ right?


End file.
